It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
