I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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