i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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