every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
