Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
