garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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