I'm passing your future prison.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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