oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
