The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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