How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
