So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
