Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This house was built for laser tag.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
