Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
