I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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