I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
last night I used snow as a chaser
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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