Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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