Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
should my penis look like a turkey
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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