There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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