I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
