Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
