Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
