i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
