Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
