What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
