turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
