I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
