last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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