carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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