i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
