maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
