hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So apparently I’m into choking now
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
