I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
