i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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