Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
