If i come over, it means nothing
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
