i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
