Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
