Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
