That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
