it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
