hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
