how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
