After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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