ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
