if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize