True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
