Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Randomize
