Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize