K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
