i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
