U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
