the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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