i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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