Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize