Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
