Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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