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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize