Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize