Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
