I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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