its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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