Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
