The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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