I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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