I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
no you cant smoke seaweed
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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