We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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