need another drink. this is the easiest way
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
True strength comes from lack of pants
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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