i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this will be a night to untag.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
